IN FOCUS
Stop Selling Yourself
When I launched 98 Palms, I knew deep down I had a winner. I had the drive, the logistics, and the intuition to help men find genuine connections.
But every time I opened my mouth to pitch it, I froze. I was terrified of sounding inexperienced.
Because it was a brand-new business, I felt this heavy pressure to apologize for not having ten years of history.
I walked into conversations feeling like I had to prove I was allowed to be there. I was making the classic mistake most men make in business and dating.
I was trying to sell myself. I see this constantly with the men I coach. You walk into a meeting or up to a woman at a bar, and you immediately start listing your resume.
You talk about your degree, your job title, or your car. You think you are building value.
Actually, you are just looking for approval.
The "Please Pick Me" Trap
When you focus on selling yourself, you are handing the other person a clipboard and asking them to grade you.
You are essentially saying, "Am I good enough? Please check the yes box."
This is a submissive position. It kills attraction in dating, and it kills confidence in business. High-value clients and high-caliber women do not buy your biography.
They buy the future you can create for them. They don't care about your insecurities or how "new" you are. They care about the result.
Sell the Destination, Not the Driver
To become a Magnetic Gentleman, you have to stop acting like an applicant and start acting like the prize.
An applicant hopes he gets picked. A leader offers an opportunity.
When I finally stopped worrying about my "lack of experience" at 98 Palms, everything changed. I stopped trying to sell "Angela, the new entrepreneur."
I started selling the vision, the incredible connections and experiences my clients would have.
I stopped making it about me. I made it about them and the problem I could solve. The desperation vanished. It was replaced by total certainty.
The Foundation: The Core Four Standards
You can't sell a vision if your own house is in disorder. You need a code to operate by. We call these the Core Four Standards.
These aren't just rules; they are the signals that tell the world you trust your own value.
The Time-Value Standard: A man with a vision doesn't have infinite time. If you drop everything the second a prospect emails you, or if you extend a meeting by an hour just to be "nice," you are signaling that your time is cheap. Cheap time means a cheap vision.
The Communication Integrity Standard: This is about removing the "fluff." No apologizing for your prices. No "ums" or "I think." You state your vision clearly and then you stop talking. Silence is confident. Over-explaining is desperate.
The Relational Reciprocity Standard: You don't chase; you attract. In a pitch or a date, you are looking for a partner, not a savior. If they aren't investing energy back into the conversation, you walk away. A man who stays when he isn't respected clearly doesn't believe in his own product.
The Physical Integrity Standard: People judge the book by the cover. If you are pitching a million-dollar vision but you look like you haven't slept or ironed your shirt in a week, there is a disconnect. Your physical presence must match the size of your ambition.
Your Tiny, Actionable Step for the Week
Take a hard look at your next sales email, your pitch, or even how you plan to talk to a date. Audit your Communication Integrity.
Look for "Apology Language."
• "I know I haven't been doing this long, but..."
• "I’m just checking in to see if..."
• "Hopefully, you can give me a shot..."
Cut it all out.
Replace it with "Vision Language."
• "Here is the problem I see."
• "Here is the solution I built."
• "Here is where we are going."
Stop trying to prove you are worthy of the room. Assume you belong there, and get to work.
I remember the first time I pitched without the "apology intro", my heart was pounding so hard I thought the client could hear it. But they didn't hear fear; they heard authority.
Trust your vision enough to let it stand on its own.
Stay Magnetic (and have a fantastic week!),😈
~ Angela Seitz
