I remember an event in New York City years ago where I ran into a friend of a former client.

This man was impressive.

He was charming, articulate, and seemed to command the space around him effortlessly. I immediately went into matchmaker mode.

I started peppering him with questions because I knew I could find him incredible matches. I wanted to know everything about him.

But the minute we pivoted the conversation to dating and women, the air left the room.

His entire demeanor shifted. I could sense the anxiety rising off him. The confident executive vanished, replaced by someone hesitant and unsure.

We met for coffee a few days later, and the full picture came into focus. He had been through a brutal divorce where his wife had cheated on him.

He was carrying that rejection into every new interaction, terrified of it happening again. He is what I call a Fragmented Man.

He was one person in the boardroom, powerful and decisive and a completely different, insecure person when a woman was involved.

People smell that inconsistency immediately.🫤

When you walk up to a beautiful woman and your voice tightens or your brain starts scrambling for the "right" thing to say, you are performing.

You are trying to act like the man you think she wants, rather than being the man you are. You are trying to get something from her, her approval, her number, or her attention.

That is neediness.

And neediness is a liability that drags your value down to zero.

Most men view a conversation with a stunning woman as a high-stakes interview where they are the applicant.

They think they need to say something clever to "win" the job.

This approach is fundamentally broken.

A Magnetic Gentleman understands that attraction isn't something you chase or negotiate. It is an earned dividend paid on a life built with intention.

If you have built a life of value, if your finances, health, and social circle are in check, you do not need to perform.

Your confidence should be a fixed asset, not a variable that fluctuates based on how pretty the woman standing in front of you is.

The shift you need to make is from trying to impress to simply expressing.

When you try to impress, you are constantly scanning her face for validation.

Did she laugh? Did she smile? Am I doing well?

This makes you reactive.

When you express, you are simply sharing your reality.

You are sharing your humor, your opinions, and your standards without filtering them through a "will she like this" lens.

If she connects with it, great. If she doesn't, that is data for you. It means she isn't a match for you.

This is what we call Unshakeable Inner Sovereignty.

It is the grounded certainty that your value exists independently of her reaction.

You stop participating in the conversation hoping not to lose, and you start leading it.

The man I met in New York was so worried about being chosen that he forgot he had the power to choose.

He was successful, kind, and loyal, yet he handed all his power over to women who hadn't earned it yet.

To fix this, you must flip the script. Stop asking yourself, "Does she like me?" Start asking, "Do I like her?"

When you talk to a beautiful woman, your job is not to entertain her. Your job is to find out if she meets your standards.

Does she have integrity? Is she kind? Does she respect your time?.

When you adopt this mindset, your body language relaxes.

You stop fidgeting. You maintain eye contact because you are looking for answers, not approval.

You become the buyer, not the seller.

For the next week, I want you to practice The Vetting Flip. The next time you are in a conversation with a woman you find attractive, I want you to ask one specific question that screens for her character.

Ask something like, "What is the one thing you are most passionate about right now?" or "How do you usually spend your Sundays?"

Then, listen to her answer purely to see if it aligns with your life and values.

If she gives a shallow answer, note that internally: "She might not be for me."

Do not try to save the conversation.

Do not try to be funnier.

Just observe.

This small mental shift changes your energy from desperate to discerning.

And nothing is more magnetic than a man who knows exactly what he wants and isn't afraid to screen for it.

Stay Magnetic (and have a fantastic week!), 😈

~ Angela Seitz